Hitmen Anniversary

With the Calgary Hitmen taking a rather unceremonious exit from the first round at the hands of the Kootenay Ice, it wrapped up a season that saw them fall short of rather lofty expectation.  However, that doesn't mean the Hitmen can't look forward to next season, and that means their 20th year in the WHL.  Named after legendary pro wrestler Bret "the Hitman" Hart, who was one of several people who had ownership stake in the Hitmen when they originally formed (the team is now owned by the Calgary Flames).  For their anniversary, the Hitmen have decided to bring back the original jerseys from the inaugural 1994-95 season...sort of.  As you can see in the picture, Hart is wearing the original jerseys that the Hitmen wore, complete with the pink and black colors that he made famous in his day.  The 20th anniversary jersey, as worn by Connor Rankin on the right, will replicate that on some level, with a couple of notable exceptions.

The right shoulder patch will feature the team's 20th anniversary logo, with the words "The Best There Ever Will Be" below the mask, another nod to Hart's trademark catch phrase, "The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be."

The left shoulder patch features the actual logo used on the original Hitmen jerseys that first year, as there was some controversy surrounding the logo that the Hitmen now use in some variation.

The hanger effect that is becoming a trend with hockey jerseys today carries over to the WHL, as the Hitmen get in on the action with a rather simple "1995-2015," indicating the years of their existence to date (as of next season).

Overall, however, the Hitmen have done quite well with the 20th Anniversary jersey that pays tribute to their roots.  The only question is whether or not the Hitmen players will have to put on the Hitmen shades.

A Book Review...Right Here on Pucks and Rocks *cheers*

That cheap pop out of the way, you likely guessed that this is a book review, and the book in question is by a guy that makes a living out of cheap pops, Mick Foley.  The follow-up to the wildly popular Have a Nice Day is Foley is Good: And the Real World is Faker than Wrestling, which doesn't feel as long to read as the first book, simply because it only covers the time period from when he won his first WWF title in December 1998 through 2001.  That said, Foley maintains what made Have a Nice Day on the follow-up and even has some candid moments where he talks about how the Royal Rumble match from 1999 with The Rock led to a strained friendship for a time, as well as the attacks from parent watchdog groups out to put pro wrestling out of business.  If you enjoyed Have a Nice Day, then you will definitely enjoy Foley is Good.

Hitman

As a fan of wrestling in the 1990's, one wrestler that seemed to be near the top in that period was Bret "The Hitman" Hart.  Those who have followed his career know about among other things, The Montreal Screwjob.  What many may not know is all of the small things that lead to that point, as well as the things that shaped not only his career, but his life, as well.  To that end, Hart has come out with his own autobiography Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling.

As with many autobiographies, the story is told through the eyes of Bret Hart, so any objectivity can be thrown out the window.  The entire story covers his early years as one of twelve children in the Hart household and goes all the way to the funeral of his father Stu Hart in 2003.  Things that happened after that get a brief mention, since according to Hart, the "Hitman" character, as well as pro wrestling as he knew it, died when Stu Hart's funeral happened.  The actual autobiography is divided into his life before the then-WWF, the WWF years, and everything from The Montreal Screwjob forward.  Bret Hart isn't quite on the level of Mick Foley or Chris Jericho when it comes to the enjoyment factor of reading autobiographies, but Hart's main strength in reading his book is about honest emotion.  From the jealousy that threatened, if not tore, the family fabric, particularly after his younger brother Owen's death, to the stories from the road in the old Stampede Wrestling days in the 1970's and 80's, Hart does his best to cover everything of importance to him.  Even the interactions with other wrestlers such as Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, and Shawn Michaels over time are covered.  In many respects, Hart's autobiography reads more like a confessional than anything else, as he told stories about his unfaithfulness to his wife, and the constant up-and-down relationship that the marriage experienced, some due to that unfaithfulness, some not.  Some of the bitterness towards the likes of Hulk Hogan or Triple H may have a few readers calling sour grapes, while that same bitterness could be seen as confirming what they already (claim to) know.

Overall, Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling is a fascinating read, but like a roller coaster, be prepared to experience the gamut of emotions when reading.  It's not the best wrestler autobiography out there (it took me two tries to get through it), but it definitely is worth checking out.

The Best at What He Does

The sharp wit of Chris Jericho returns with a second book in Undisputed: How to Become the World Champion in 1,372 Easy Steps.  The full title is a reference to the number of matches it took for him to become the first undisputed champion in WWE history, yet the road there isn't all gold, as Jericho writes.

The second autobiography picks up where the WWE debut in 1999 left off and covers a lot of ground between that point and his return to the WWE in 2007.  Just like his first book A Lion's Tale: Around the World in Spandex, Jericho's wit and ability to make the reader laugh, cry, and anything else he commands is evident.  The book picks through things such as his early run in the WWE and struggling to find an identity, and the time away from WWE for a couple of years.  Jericho goes into great detail about some of the most important things in his life, such as being on the ice with his father for a celebrity hockey game, being undisputed champion and finding out that staying on top is much harder than getting there, and his tours with his band Fozzy.  Getting through parts of the book (i.e. Chris Benoit) was a difficult task, but you certainly get the idea that it was equally difficult for Jericho to talk about some of those same parts, and that's what separates him from most wrestling autobiographies: the ability to get the reader to see the events through his eyes.  A definite must read.

Wrestle Talk

I haven't talked about pro wrestling in a while, and because I feel that the hockey talk isn't coming as natural to me right now, I figure to sneak this little part in, so if you don't want to read about pro wrestling, do not read this piece.  (waits a minute) Still here?  Okay, here we go.

I'll get to WWE and its nostalgia run in a bit, but first, Total Nonstop Action "Wrestling."  Note that I refuse to use the acronym and that I also put the word wrestling in quotes.  Heck, you could do the same with the latter for WWE, but that's not the big issue there.  In case you haven't figured it out, that is my biggest complaint about the Total Nonstop product.  Too much talk and the people doing the talking: people who stopped being relevant around, oh, about five years ago, perhaps longer.  The long running complaint about that wrestling company is that it doesn't put over young talent.  The real complaint that should be used is that it doesn't put over its homegrown talent, you know, the ones that have been with the company for a long time.  Looking at the company's most recent champions, they have been WWE cast offs.  The same can be said for those with the most air time: those who don't need the spotlight.

The WWE lead in to Wrestlemania has been a nostalgia laden one, as stars from the last decade or so have been filing onto the company's programming.  Though I think it is overkill, I think it's good for WWE to at least, make Wrestlemania mean something again.  Let's face it, the last two Wrestlemanias were quite lackluster and were void of anything large, except for the amount of boredom that it produced.  However, for all of the attempts to make the biggest show of all relevant, they haven't really made the WWE title mean something again.  Even with trying to make its champion relevant, he's still a secondary thought to the casual wrestling fan.

Put a Sock in it!

When you think of well written autobiographies, one would not think too much of pro wrestlers as writing great books, nevermind autobiographies.  Now, would those same people be shocked by the fact that a few of those same wrestlers who write their own life stories make the New York Times best sellers list?  One of the very first people to invoke that question is Mick Foley, who came out with Have a Nice Day: A Tale of Blood and Sweat Socks.  As you can tell, this is in reference to the character he was playing in the WWF at the time, Mankind (pictured here).  This look into the blood, sweat, and tears that he has given up, both figuratively and literally, offers the reader a look into what goes into pro wrestling, and while it doesn't proclaim to be a sport, the price that is paid is almost as much as someone who plays a sport such as football or baseball.  The reader will laugh at some of Foley's stories, which showcase his sense of humor, and in many cases, like some of his trips to Japan, the reader will cringe at the details of some his matches.  Overall, the book is a rather lengthy read, but that is because Foley has a lot to say, which is more than what could be said about a few other reads.

So, how successful was Have a Nice Day?  Well, it opened new doors for Foley, which led to among other things, a children's story and a couple of other books, one of which also made the New York Time best sellers list in Foley is Good.

Do These Tights Make My Butt Look Big?

When looking through the books about wrestling, there is a common theme among many of them, which is that there is a major slant towards one of the spectrum, one way or the other.  This is especially true of wrestler autobiographies, and if you have read any of the WWE published wrestler autobiographies at all, you'll notice that some of them don't even bother to try and break kayfabe (fantasy, read: Hulk Hogan's autobiography).  And there are those that are complete and utter crap to the point where I won't even bother try to skim through (The Rock, and that one had little to no involvement from him, so calling that an autobiography would be a stretch).

There are exceptions, as Mick Foley has proven time and time again, with two autobiographies that became New York Times best sellers (Have a Nice Day: A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks, which will be reviewed in the near future, and Foley is Good) and a children's book that has Christmas in mind.  You can throw Chris Jericho onto the list of wrestlers turned successful authors (which is a very short list) and his autobiography A Lion's Tale: Around the World in Spandex.  The book wasn't published by the WWE, which gives him some free reign when it comes to his sense of humor, which is evident in spades.  The book stops to the point of his WWF debut in 1999 (it was called that prior to 2002), which leaves an open door to the next ten years or so of his life.  The autobiography covers his journeys through Mexico, Germany, and Japan, among others, as he chases his dream of being a wrestler on the big stage of New York, otherwise known as the WWE.  Throughout the book, you will laugh at some of the things that happened while he was on the path to reaching his goals and you will also cry a little, too, with stories about his mother and some of his closest friends that he made while on the road.  Mostly though, putting down the book will be difficult to do, as it is one of the most compelling reads by a pro wrestler.  Jericho's journey is one that very few will EEEEEEEEE-ever take a-gain, and only Jericho could make such a journey entertaining and emotional at the same time.

Headlocks and Takedowns (Yes, another wrestling piece)

Last night was a time to rest from the last seven days of metal, so in an effort to try and catch up on movies, I attempted to watch Dario Argento's Cat O'Nine Tails.  Unfortunately, I think this will be a test to see if I can make it through, since the movie runs slower than I would like.  After about 30 minutes or so, I scrapped it, for now, in favor of some WWE and the Hell in a Cell compilation.  In case you don't know what Hell in a Cell is, here is a sample of what has happened in such a match:




The matches I saw last night were on disc two, and the ones I managed to get through were HHH vs. Chris Jericho from 2002 and Undertaker (when he was in his biker phase) vs. Brock Lesnar, which was also from 2002.  And in case you're asking, people really do get hurt in these kinds of matches.  I know what you're thinking, and yes, it is scripted.  However, one wrong move, and the line between real and fake gets dangerously blurred.

The concept, in recent years, has been watered down with the WWE deciding to name its PPVs after matches such as this and having more matches with an alarming frequency.

Headlock of Doom

As some of you who read the ramblings known as this blog know, my interests are varied, with some being more popular than others.  Since baseball hasn't held much interest this year and futbol is now over and likely headed to oblivion in the United States, that leaves one thing to talk about (and you may run in horror as to what I am about to say): pro wrestling.

In a previous post, I made my review of Wrestlemania 2, which is one of the worst Wrestlemanias of all time in that it took place in three different cities and was a total mess.  Today, I would like to give my take on the state of pro wrestling right now.  Those that follow the WWE know that there is a pay-per-view event going on this Sunday called Money in the Bank.  The name itself refers to a type of match where the object is to grab a briefcase that is suspended above the ring and the only means to do so is by ladder.  In the briefcase is a contract that allows the holder to challenge for a major belt anytime he chooses.  Sounds simple enough, but the name of the pay-per-view is one of the many problems that plague the WWE.  Not only is it uncreative, but it also displays a large level of laziness.  Consider for example the other names for the WWE PPVs: "Fatal 4-Way," "Elimination Chamber," "Bragging Rights," etc.  Do any of those names inspire you to drop $35 or so to pay to watch a WWE PPV?  I didn't think so.

Another complaint of mine about the WWE, and for that matter, Total Nonstop Action wrestling (I refuse to shorten that one), is the pushing of the same talent from even ten years ago.  In any business, the key to long-term survival is to have some young talent ready so that when the current group finally decides to call it quits, that young group can take over without losing much.  The WWE has been a little better about pushing young talent, though it has been rough sailing, since people have rejected this young talent.  In fairness, the WWE hasn't given fans reason to care about the new group for the most part.  Total Nonstop Action, otherwise known as a resurrected World Championship Wrestling, had been pushing some young talent in the beginning.  What happened?  They bring in Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair.  Now, why would two guys pushing 60 be brought into a wrestling organization other than to push their own agendas?  In a word: money.  At the expense of them coming in is the pushing back of the young talent.  Is it any wonder why they have the ratings that they do?

That's all that I'll say about the subject for now, so back to your regularly scheduled activities.

4th of July

Today is the day Americans everywhere can drink Hamms' to their heart's delight (or any other cheap yard beer that you prefer) and to blow off a limb or two (though it is not recommended).  Why, you ask?  Today marks the day that the United States broke away from the rule of England.  If you haven't brushed up on your history, then do so, and get back to me once you do.

So, what is my contribution to this holiday?  Well, here is Rockin' Robin "singing" America the Beautiful:

Wrestlemania 2: the Cliff Notes version

Ever since I began this blog, I have written about almost everything that I happen to like.  Today, since the Stanley Cup Finals won't end until Sunday at the earliest, and the World Cup isn't until next week, I figure that there has been one thing I haven't talked about yet: pro wrestling.  I am sure that those who follow or read this will undoubtedly roll their eyes at the thought of me talking about two grown men "acting" in what amounts to a softcore porn.  Before I get to today's subject Wrestlemania 2, I would like to say that it wasn't always that way, but if you need someone to point the finger at for pro wrestling acting gay, point it at one Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

That rant out of the way, on to Wrestlemania 2, perhaps the worst Wrestlemania of them all, although the last two could challenge for that distinction.  So, here's the rundown of the card for this Wrestlemania, as held in New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles, with some "witty remarks":

"Magnificent" Don Muraco vs. "Mr. Wonderful"  Paul Orndorff: pretty decent match on paper, bullshit in practice, as this ended in a count out.

George "The Animal" Steele vs. "Macho Man" Randy Savage (Intercontinental Championship match): One of the better matches on the card, which isn't saying much.

George Wells vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts: Squash match, with a pre-fighting the demons Roberts winning and Wells spewing something white out of his mouth after having Roberts' snake Damien put on him.

Mr. T vs. Roddy Piper: Boxing match that was pointless.  No idiots in cars, though.

Velvet McIntyre vs. Fabulous Moolah (Women's Championship match): Shortest match most notable for a wardrobe malfunction on McIntyre's part.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirchner (Flag match): Nothing of note here.

20 man battle royal: Wrestlers and NFL stars of that time, won by Andre the Giant.

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Brutus Beefcake vs. the British Bulldogs (Tag Team Championship match): Decent match, won by the Bulldogs.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat: Nothing to really see here, Steamboat won.

"Adorable" Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer: Worst match on the card, I want my ten minutes back.

The Funks (Terry and Hoss) vs. Tito Martel and Junkyard Dog: No, that's not a typo, I really did write "Tito Martel" and I don't remember who won.

King Kong Bundy vs. Hulk Hogan (Steel cage WWF Championship match): Better known as the Baby Blue Jungle Gym match between Shamu and the Orange Goblin, with the Goblin refusing to job, as usual.